Without exception, every child is affected by the serious changes and potentially devastating news of a divorce. Regardless of age, children look to their parents as a source of stability, guidance, and continuity. Without consideration for your adult children’s needs during the divorce process, the fallout can devastate healthy family dynamics, and emotional support systems, and alter the course of their lives long after the divorce is finalized.
Even if your children no longer rely on you for financial support or a place to live, here’s why it’s so important to include your adult children in the divorce discussion.
1. Family Value Perspectives
Even if your grown children don’t admit it (or realize it), their perception of marriage and beliefs about commitment are often defined by their parents. Children of any age look to their parents as a guiding beacon, and unless they are included in the details about why the divorce was necessary, your adult children may adopt their own doubts about relationships and struggle with future commitment.
2. Emotional, Physical, & Financial Stress
Life-changing adjustments are always challenging, especially when dealing with serious changes on the horizon. Now that you’re living separate lives, there are a variety of stressful challenges that your adult children may be faced with, such as:
- Who should they speak with when they need emotional advice?
- If they received financial support, will the divorce affect their financial security?
- How will the separation affect holidays, family trips, and other important family situations?
To approach these stressful topics head-on, divorce mediation provides a supportive way to define realistic plans for the future of your family. When they have a clear understanding of how fundamental topics like these will be addressed in a reasonable manner, stress is naturally alleviated.
3. Caught in the Middle
Before, during, and after the divorce, it’s common that children to get caught in the crossfire of the situation. This can be a problematic paradigm shift, especially if your children feel like they need to take sides. Instead of using your adult children to vent about divorce issues, it’s always better to seek a neutral third party that is less involved in the outcome.
4. Division Challenges
If your adult children have belongings at your shared home, or you need to decide which one will get certain assets, division discussions should openly involve their input. Financial and division topics are a common source of tension, but with a mediator’s guidance keeping things factual, the resulting compromises remain constructive for everyone involved.
5. Time Management
Scheduling time with each parent can also become complicated following a divorce. This becomes even more challenging if either parent moves to another area following the separation. For most adult children, spending time with their parents is an important aspect of life, and addressing this essential topic should be a priority.
No matter what, the idea of divorce can be stressful and confusing. However, it doesn’t have to be when reaching out to Long Island Divorce. Through inclusive processes like divorce mediation and honest communication, limiting the impacts of these common divorce-related problems is our goal.