Weathering the turbulence of divorce is no small feat, even for couples that agree on the majority of divorce topics. For couples that strongly disagree on multiple matters, the turbulence can quickly snowball into a bitter impasse and costly legal battle that negatively affects all parties involved.
However complex or difficult it may be to establish an amicable agreement, there are several worthwhile reasons to strive for a peaceful resolution. If you and your spouse can find a way to work through the differences in a calm and constructive manner, you stand to save a significant amount of time, energy, and resources throughout the divorce process.
In addition to tangible cost and time savings that come with amicable dispute resolution, preserving emotional sanity and reducing the stress burden on you and your family members are other great reasons to pursue a more peaceful strategy. Whether you are hoping to preserve your finances or protect the integrity of your family’s emotional wellbeing, here are some helpful strategies to consider if you are in the midst of a high-conflict divorce situation.
Try to Establish Calm & Clear Communication
Approaching stressful divorce topics is best accomplished with a cool, calm, and non-judgmental communication style. Instead of making accusations, raising your voice, or injecting sarcasm or aggression into your requests or comments, perhaps an adjustment in your tone or the word choices you use may help to facilitate more productive outcomes. For example, instead of demanding that your spouse attend a legal consultation, consider writing down a neutral list of reasons why you feel that divorce mediation could benefit you both. Expressing how you feel calmly, rather than blaming or giving them the silent treatment can result in a positive paradigm shift that greatly benefits you both in the long run.
Of course, the goal of communicating calmly and clearly only works if your spouse is receptive to the ideas presented. If met with anger or combative tones, strive to remain level headed while expressing how your ideas are intended to benefit you both. If you are successful in shifting the conversation away from the pain and anger towards the practical benefits that can be achieved through mutual agreement, your odds of achieving a positive outcome increase significantly.
Seek Professional Help
Perhaps your spouse is unwilling to listen to your requests for a collaborative divorce plan. They may be willing to listen to a licensed professional who has an unbiased perspective. Instead of digging trenches deeper by persisting, it may be a better idea to start with a professional who can help to guide the conversations.
Seeking professional help can be especially beneficial if calm discussions often descend into fights and frustration. When in the presence of an advisor or counselor, we are less likely to behave irrationally or act aggressively, which can naturally help to steer stressful divorce conversations in a calm and solution-oriented direction.
Manage Expectations & Be Willing to Compromise
Even with professional divorce mediation and calm discussion, you and your spouse may never agree on certain topics. Oftentimes, compromising and remaining adaptable is the key to achieving an agreement that is best for you and your family. Perhaps you may have to take on additional childcare responsibilities, maybe you receive fewer assets than you had hoped for, but in the long-run, the financial, time, and emotional benefits of seeking an amicable divorce are well worth the compromise.
If you and your spouse can find a way to work together through divorce mediation rather than drawn-out court litigation, you benefit from:
- An expedited divorce approval
- Significantly reduced legal expenses
- Countless hours of time saved
- Healthier emotional outcomes
- Complete control over the divorce agreement
This is only a glimpse of the worthwhile advantages that can be achieved when you seek compromise-focused divorce mediation. To learn more, contact Long Island Divorce Mediation for a free consultation today.